Sunday, November 25, 2007
Number 78.
I miss my dad. I dont know whether things wasnt going well for me this few months that i kinda got screw up easily. I still cant imagine that time how life's going through for me during that part of my life. Maybe cos being a kid is a good thing that i just wont think too much. But now thinking of him just made me even more sad. Losing someone close to you is never an easy thing to get over with. But i fear. I fear i will forget his look,his voice, all the things he had done as a father protecting his little son. I dont want that. Never.
Since that point of my life, i have changed. Never the boy that always need protection. I look upon my father. I want to be like him. Perhaps as the only guy in the house that i felt i need to be strong. From then on i keep everything to myself. Not allowing my family to knew what's going on to me. It's never me to let someone worry about me. Im a stubborn freak i guess.
And now going through the another part of my life. Schools ending soon. The precious time i used to have is leaking through my hands. I lost something that is once close to me and it sux. Somewhere in me no longer be that cheerful guy that keeps going on and on. I thought im strong enough to deal with all these but i cant. Im trying to be fine but just wont works. Even now after hanging out with friends where i feel occupied, but when time comes that i need to be alone, i know i shouldnt be thinking that much for i have no reason to be but its just killing me.
But there is still something good happening. Im starting to hang out more with my sec friends. They are once, my closest pals for we being through alot during those days. Even they might never knew how important friends are to me, but i really appreciate having them by my side. I cant imagine without them i might be dead by now. Thanks guys. Oh ya. Not forgetting my beloved poly friends. You guys are great too. =D
PS: Smile smile smile smile smile.
12:36 AM
. Dreams .
