Thursday, February 21, 2008
"Talk to me. help me"
Things has just got worsen each day exam result draws near. Never been so worried since that time when something bad happen in my family. Though i was really small then.
But getting the result totally freak me now. Im so scare i cant get through it. When i told my mum about it, she didnt scold me and i was like feeling depressed. I hope she scold but she didnt.
"Im 20 soon. The life's up to me now. "
Thats all she said and that moment i just feel so guilty about it.
Talk out with my bud just now about this. There is so much things i wanna learn during this 'break' before enlistment. But im so scare that if i cant get over this, im just gonna be so dead. I so wanna go uni be it overseas or any local u. I just wanna continue studying and yes, im serious. The world out there is too harsh if i just barge into it without a at least a degree. The political thing inside my working place forced me to actually quit job after just 1 week. I cant stand it. i would rather work in coffee bean(or any where i can make coffee) where i really enjoy the atmosphere there and learn some experience from there.
i remembered telling some about how i admire those around me who got aims and goals in their life. Their interest and how much they willing to give up certain things just to get what they want. But for me right now is really a "need" more than a "want". I need to pass before i can get what i want. And if i really get over this. Im so gonna change the way i live till now. Be thankful of what i had with me and live life much happier than before. Absorbing experience and do what i really like.
PS: I wanna live my own life. A happy life.Labels: i
12:15 AM
. Dreams .